Insensitive People

Hi, I've been lurking here for some time now. This group is very informative and helpful to me. I was diagnosed with invasive lobular bc in 9/01. Two weeks ago I had an annual bone scan done with showed a "hot spot" on my right tibia. I have just returned home from having a MRI of that area and hopefully will have the results by mid week.

My question to all of you is, have you have "friends" stop calling or when they do call they say something very insensitive?

A supposedly very close "friend" of mine knew I was going for a bone scan and never called to see if all went well. She waited almost two weeks to call. When I expressed my disappointment about her not calling, she began extremely hostile and told me she had her own life.
This "friend" told me two weeks ago that she loved me.

What am I supposed to think? I guess she wasn't the friend to me she claimed to be, but I felt like I was kicked while I was down.

Anyone had similar experiences?

hi barbara...yes, i've had similar experiences...let's just say that when REAL life hits, such as a serious illness or major life stuff, some people just can't step up to the plate...

i had one instance that a close family member just wasn't there for me during a death situation...it disappointed me (and dang it, just made me ANGRY at the time) that she was only thinking of herself in my time of need, but in hindsight, i really knew all along that she has always been that way...a person with very little empathetic skills, and who really wasn't as giving as she could be...

now, i know that this family member loves me as much as she can love anyone...but, it definitely wasn't the kind of support that i needed, and she is indeed a fairly self centered/selfish person...i knew it then, so i was partially to blame for thinking that anything would really be different...my expectations were too high for this person...

so, perhaps your friend really does love you, but isn't able to step up to the plate for you...selfish? yes. that should tell you something...so, i turned to other people in my life that DID offer the kind of support system i needed...some of them were total strangers!

some people never get how to be true friends and be compassionate, empathetic and selfless...hold dear those who can...they are few and far between, let me tell you...take care, and feel good...harriet

Yes, this is normal. Many people have commented on it, here and in 'real life'. You find out who your real friends are.

"Champagne to my true friends and true pain to my sham friends."

I believe that people are afraid to face the C word, and especially terminal disease, because we are raised to believe we are immortal, someday we have to go through the painful process of coming to terms with mortality, when we or our close friends/relatives stare it in the face. Many would rather ditch their friends and stay in denial than go through the pain unless they have to.

Theres lots of them about m y mother said whats your problem its not all about you you know well hello its me losing my breast i have the right to it being about me for just a couple of hours dont you think

some people tho shock you by being so amazing and you really realize how lucky you are they are in your life.

Hi Friends, I am very glad to see I am not alone on the insensitive people you get when you are fighting cancer. I had very high chemo and had to drive myself there and out to eat and home to be sick. Alot of my friends treated me like I could give it to them. I have really learned alot about caring and friends threw my fight. I dont ever want to be like them. I still care for my friends but learned alot. Take care Debbie